NaPoWriMo 2: My daily routine of being in love with you

My daily routine of being in love with you,
Is a bittersweet process. It's a slow current, teasing the raging storm brewing in the sea.

It starts with my phone screaming the daily reminders.

It ends with me screaming regrets.

Every morning, 

I see your face in my messages.

I read your words with a sleepy smile and a tired hope.

Every morning,

My body feels your absence.

My heart feels your presence. 

Every morning,

I am content with the thoughts of you.

I am saddened by your reckless ignorance.

My daily routine of being in love with you,

Is a bittersweet process. It's the fatal lull between a lit cigarette and the moment one inhales it.

Where the sweet premonition dances, 

Of the polluted lungs, now breathing only for him.

As I look for sanity in these foreboding moments,

My women bear the brunt of my one-sided, intense passion for you. 

My women see the distrust in your responses. 

My women see the longing in my doubts.

They ask me why. I tell them just because.

My daily routine of being in love with you,

Is a bittersweet process. It's the playful pauses between conversations. 

I look at your lips, squirming. "Time to go, no?" 

You smirk and spread my legs. "Yes, it's almost 3!" 

Every night, 

I see you slowly disappear into the receding darkness. 

I see my light dim, scared of the dawn. 

Every night, 

My body remembers your mouth as I feel my heart race. 

As a habit on repeat, 

My body trembles. 

My heart burns. 

My breath falters. 

Every night,

I am content with the thoughts of you. 

I am saddened by your reckless ignorance. 

My daily routine of being in love with you,

Is a bittersweet process. It's the calm certainty of the sea in face of the raging storm. 

The forgiving depth that swallows my remorseful screams. 

 

It starts with hope.

It ends with regret.

My daily routine.

Being in love.

With you.